Q&A - Ruby Rare
Sex Educator and Author Ruby talks to the feels about writing and her love of Isabel Allende
What does an average day of creating look like for you?
At the moment it’s quite frantic - I’m doing the bad thing where I’m spinning too many plates! Trying to allocate a proper chunk of time on just one project is difficult. I find myself bouncing between writing bits, I’m working on a book right now, and trying to be outside. But I’m only really doing that if the sun’s out - otherwise I can turn into a bit of a hermit.
I also try to make sure I’m doing creative stuff with my hands. It might be really silly stuff - I make a lot of strange paper mache objects! I create things that relate to work, but also making sure there’s some lightness and silliness in there. It’s more about my own creative expression rather than completely tied to work.
I’m also doing all the stuff for tv now, so it’s a little bit of everything!
What are the themes you often come back to in your work?
All of my work is linked to human stories. On the surface, I’m always drawn to pleasure. Sensual pleasure in all its forms as well as honing in on sexual pleasure. If there is ever something with some nervousness around the subject, or if there is something we are taught not to talk about, I’m interested in it. Lots of that has to do with sex, bodies and relationships - but equally subjects like death, food and shame.
I’m also trying to wriggle into the things that I would be nervous to talk about myself. Like the weirdness of bodies, skin and flesh. All of that stuff is very much linked to a lot of my work. Talking about how we feel in bodies is something I always come back to.
Do you remember the first piece of art you really saw yourself reflected in?
I read the Isabel Allende novel The House of the Spirits when I was fourteen. It’s a big juicy family lineage story with lots of magical realism woven into it. It’s very much asking matriarchy questions. The very beginning of that novel is what really brought me in, and then the way she writes about relationships - I just felt excited by and seen. I am obsessed with Allende’s writing and I always go back to her. All of her stories are big sweeping multi-generational stories about love and loss. I love her.
What is a comfort piece of art for you?
Marie Antoinette - the Sofia Coppola film. When I was an arty precocious teenager I was obsessed with it. It’s objectively not a very good film but at the same time it’s the most gorgeous and opulent film in the entire world. I love the sets and the costumes. It’s a real comfort watch because I know it inside out, and I kind of relish in the fact it’s indulgent.
How do you get in the creative zone when you’re feeling uninspired?
I remind myself why I’m exploring what I am. Why it’s important - and why I was excited to do it at the beginning. It’s really easy, part way through a project, to lose sight of that why.
I also get outdoors. Being outside, rain or shine, listening to some silly music while going for a proper stomp always gets me in a much better headspace. After I’ve done that I can chat to other people about how I’m feeling and all that stuff - but often it’s just getting outside for a bit.
Watch Ruby on Channel 4’s Sex Rated here and buy her book Sex Ed: A Guide for Adults here.
The House of the Spirits has been on my shelf for a while, picking it up immediately 🙏🏿